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 Thursday, November 05, 2009

A Funny Thing

By Diana Hsieh @ 4:00 PM

Here's why I read Amy Mossoff's The Little Things, every day, without fail:
[Amy:] Does the horse have a tail?
[Three-year-old Samantha:] YES.
Does Toby have a tail?
YES.
Does Jinx have a tail?
YES.
Do you have a tail?
NO, I HAVE A VAGINA.
I always thought it would be cool to have a tail. However, now that I think about it, I'd rather have a vagina.

(Wow, I can't believe that I just wrote that. Ah well, in the interests of mortifying the Objectivist prudes yet again, I'll let it remain as is.)

Amy also writes thought-provoking posts, such as A Different Audience. The comments on that post are well-worth reading. I think that Kelly got the point about hierarchy of values exactly right.

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 Comments

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 16:16:05 mst
Comment ID: #1
Name: Tom Rowland
E-mail: atlasfan(at)earthlink.net

I have always thought that women were god's marvelous gift to us men. In fact I think they just might be the only reasonable excuse for believing that god exists. you have given just one of the characteristics that make the argument so compelling. We men get to love you. Wow!

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 16:48:32 mst
Comment ID: #2
Name: Jason Stotts
E-mail: Jason.Stotts(at)gmail.com
URL: http://erosophia.blogspot.com

Interestingly, penis has its etymological roots in "tail."

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 18:02:49 mst
Comment ID: #3
Name: Jared Seehafer
E-mail: jared(at)seehafer.net
URL: http://seehafer.net

Would make for a good addition to 'Kids Say The Darnedest Things', were America not so prudish that one could say 'vagina' on a family-friendly show.

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 18:11:29 mst
Comment ID: #4
Name: Guy

That's great! I have enjoyed keeping a list of funny things Joey has said. Here are a few gems for your enjoyment:

Joey shows me a scene of stuffed animals he arranged on his bed. I see all of his baby lions and tigers are cuddling his large Bambi. Joey explains, "The babies caught a deer and they are eating it."

---

From Joey's play date with neighbor Sarah (both almost 5):
Sarah: "She's dead! You have to give her some medicine to make her feel better."

Joey: "When you're dead, you don't feel better."

---
When sick with runny nose (enthusiastically): "Daddy, watch this blow!"
---
Joey's Aunt Tammy was telling him that angels watch over him to keep him safe. Joey looked at her incredulously and said, "You're got to be kidding me!"

--
Screaming after I helped him into a lukewarm bath, "Aaaaa! It's too, too, too MEDIUM!"

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 19:28:50 mst
Comment ID: #5
Name: Jason H.

Cheers to mortifying the Objectivist prudes!

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 19:52:06 mst
Comment ID: #6
Name: Aaron Davies
E-mail: agd12(at)columbia.edu

You wouldn't rather have both?

Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 22:11:00 mst
Comment ID: #7
Name: John Cox
E-mail: john.d.cox(at)gmail.com
URL: http://www.johnandansley.com

Charlie (two year old son) had this gem recently.

I'm sitting on the couch. He's playing with his toys about 10 feet away when I start to sneeze.

Me: "Achoo!"
Charlie gets up and runs to stand 6 inches from my face.
Charlie: "Bless you Daddy! Try Again!"
Me: "Achoo!" (another real sneeze)
Charlie: "Bless you Daddy! Try Again!"
Me "AcchhhhhhooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!" (Fake Sneeze)
Charlie: "Bless you Daddy! Good Job!"

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 4:21:15 mst
Comment ID: #8
Name: Tom Rowland
E-mail: atlasfan(at)earthlink.net

I have never raised a child, but I have watched quite a few grow as a relative or friend of their parents and as a piiano teacher. The stories are wonderful reminders of the delightful moments I have shared with them.

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 6:27:43 mst
Comment ID: #9
Name: Rational Jenn
E-mail: rationaljenn(at)gmail.com
URL: http://rationaljenn.blogspot.com

One of the best things about having children is that I get to laugh hard almost every day. Never had a "real" job where that happened. Those little people are hilarity machines!

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 8:12:24 mst
Comment ID: #10
Name: PDS
E-mail: pdspds(at)gmail.com

The "hilarity machines" are some of the people on the Prude Thread our hostess linked to. There is some unintentional knee slapping crap in there. Hard to imagine Howard Roark and his pals sitting around whining about who used a cuss word, and in what context their favorite cuss words are appropriate. Also hard to imagine Howard Roark giving any crap whatsover what language other people use to express themselves, no matter the context. (And yes, I am outing myself as a Fountainheadian Rand admirer, as compared to ASian admirer...).

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 9:50:22 mst
Comment ID: #11
Name: Mike in Vancouver
E-mail: thepoholkas(at)shaw.ca

Thanks for the levity this morning - much enjoyed! Down with Prudes!

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 10:39:41 mst
Comment ID: #12
Name: Guy

Oh, one of our son's little friends (about age 4) could not pronounce "peanuts". She honestly did not know what she was saying when she proudly showed her friends at school her lunch was a "penis butter and jelly sandwich."

Friday, November 6, 2009 at 14:38:47 mst
Comment ID: #13
Name: Amy
E-mail: mossoffa(at)gmail.com
URL: http://www.amymossoff.com

Thanks, Diana! From what I gather, it only gets funnier over the next couple of years. I loved the other gems people shared here.

Saturday, November 7, 2009 at 6:38:43 mst
Comment ID: #14
Name: Rational Jenn
E-mail: rationaljenn(at)gmail.com
URL: http://rationaljenn.blogspot.com

Guy--we had a similar peanut/penis thing here. My oldest is allergic to peanuts. And my daughter, probably around 3 at the time, was pretending to make cupcakes, and proudly presented them to him and me with "Here's your cupcake! It's penis-free, so you can eat it!" :o)

Saturday, November 7, 2009 at 18:12:23 mst
Comment ID: #15
Name: Guy

LOL Jenn! I avoid wheat and sugar and I definitely want my cupcakes penis-free!

Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 14:10:06 mst
Comment ID: #16
Name: Valda Redfern
E-mail: Valda.redfern(at)gmail.com
URL: http://valzhalla.blogspot.com

I'm so impressed that Samantha, at only three years old, already knows that she has a vagina. I think I was about eleven before I realised that.

Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 16:19:14 mst
Comment ID: #17
Name: Bill
E-mail: bspears(at)easystreet.net


True story. While I was weighing one morning, nude, my three year old daughter came up and with a look of absolute delight, said, "Daddy have a tail?" Sadly, I had to say no, that's not really a tail, and referred her to the female parental unit for more in depth discussion.

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