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 Monday, May 25, 2009

A Very Impolite Joke

By Diana Hsieh @ 12:01 AM

I know that this particular topic isn't supposed to be funny, but I was highly amused:
A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do what ever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too."
Ha!

Folks, that's all that I have in my blogging queue, and I'm too busy working ten hour days finalizing my dissertation to do anything so frivolous as blog. Seriously, for eight days now, I've done nothing but sleep too little, eat on occasion, and edit, write, and edit more. I have a few more days of work. So unless my co-bloggers post something, and I hope they do, NoodleFood will be quiet this upcoming week. Again, do not e-mail me for any reason. I cannot afford the distraction. If you do, you might get a rather impolite response.

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 Comments

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 3:28:41 mst
Comment ID: #1
Name: anonymous

I don't get it. Is that supposed to be some kind of poke against male presumptuousness? Instead it just comes off as a poke at the validity of the evidence of the senses.

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 11:19:28 mst
Comment ID: #2
Name: Jeff

It is funny because it is unexpected, i.e. it is a ironic!

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 11:28:45 mst
Comment ID: #3
Name: Kyle Haight
E-mail: khaight(at)alumni.ucsd.edu
URL: http://www.leftist.org/haightspeech/

It restructures the default narrative with the aim of undermining the assumptions of heteronormativity. Isn't that obvious?

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 12:18:31 mst
Comment ID: #4
Name: Richard

Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked, because he understood the evidence of his senses were valid. Eh?

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 12:51:13 mst
Comment ID: #5
Name: KPO'M
E-mail: ka84796(at)comcast.net

It also shows the true colors of this marital relationship. Apparently each of them is more than willing to offer up the other to save his or her own back side.

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 15:09:20 mst
Comment ID: #6
Name: John Harris
E-mail: John.harris00(at)gmail.com

That was great, thanks for a good joke Diana. :)

John.

Monday, May 25, 2009 at 19:04:23 mst
Comment ID: #7
Name: Jennifer Snow
E-mail: Snowconic(at)hotmail.com
URL: http://literatrix.blogspot.com

I feel you on the dissertation thing, Diana. The HR person at my job has apparently decided to stress-test me this week and called me in for three consecutive overtime days of the most miserably grueling work imaginable--standing still and doing absolutely nothing. (I'd rather work like a dog than be bored out of my mind for hours on end.) I've been so tired that I let college assignments slide, so now I'm turning them in a day late.

But I made some money, right? That's good, right?

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