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 Friday, April 10, 2009

That Wise Man Jesusophile on Sex

By Diana Hsieh @ 4:02 PM

I can't properly express my great amusement at this two videos, found via Andrew Sullivan. They're done by one Jesusophile -- a brilliant satirist, I think. Behold, and prepare to wonder and laugh mightily! (Just don't do it at work; the descriptions are too explicit.)

First, we have proof that condoms don't protect against AIDS using spoiled milk, a strainer, and a glass. (Seriously!)



Next, a rambling bit on why the pleasure of the woman doesn't matter in sex:



Everything about that video is beyond compare, but I'm particular taken with (1) the repeated mis-pronunciation of "vaginal," (2) his explanation and demonstration of how sex works using the orange and the spoon, (3) his befuddlement about lesbianism, and (4) his uncertainty about how Jesus feels about the clitoris.

Here's another gem -- albeit from real Christians: the world's worst movie ever. You simply must watch the trailer. You think it's bad enough -- and then it gets much, much worse.

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 Comments

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 16:19:00 mst
Comment ID: #1
Name: Lemuel
E-mail: synthesist(at)ymail.com

Wow.

I thought Kirk Cameron's "Fireproof" looked bad; from the trailer alone, "C Me Dance" appears to be completely unbearable.

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 17:12:41 mst
Comment ID: #2
Name: Carl Svanberg
E-mail: carl.svanberg(at)gmail.com
URL: http://svanberg.wordpress.com/

I any of you seen Facing the Giants? I have. It's nothing but pure religious propaganda. The story (from imdb.com):

"In six years of coaching, Grant Taylor has never led his Shiloh Eagles to a winning season. After learning that he and his wife Brooke face infertility, Grant discovers that a group of fathers are secretly organizing to have him dismissed as head coach. Devastated by his circumstances, he cries out to God in desperation. When Grant receives a message from an unexpected visitor, he searches for a stronger purpose for his football team. He dares to challenge his players to believe God for the impossible on and off the field. When faced with unbelievable odds, the Eagles must step up to their greatest test of strength and courage. What transpires is a dynamic story of the fight between faith and fear."

A quote from the movie:

"I want God to bless this team so much people will talk about what He did. But it means we gotta give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So I'm askin' you... What are you living for? I resolve to give God everything I've got, then I'll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you'll join me."

The movie is filled with such propaganda speeches. It's really, really horrible.

One of many *depraved* scenes from the movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TYvKlHa3WM

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 19:09:54 mst
Comment ID: #3
Name: C Andrew
E-mail: ca4papen(at)mindspring.com

The thing is that I've heard some of these "theories" about male/female sex from devout folks. Maybe he is a satirist but if so, he's sitting with a bear trap latched to his butt so he can keep a straight face. Lord, I was howling at 30 seconds in....

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 19:22:40 mst
Comment ID: #4
Name: Doug H.
E-mail: radiotheatre[at]gmail[dot]com

You clearly have been trolled.

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 19:24:24 mst
Comment ID: #5
Name: Doug H.
E-mail: radiotheatre[at]gmail[dot]com

Err, ignore my previous comment. I clearly cannot read, lol.

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 21:51:24 mst
Comment ID: #6
Name: Ryan M

It's certainly satire. If he were for real, he'd have made a video by now making that clear because everyone is asking that question. What's more he seems to only favorite videos that refer to him including ones which talk about him being satire. I kind of feel like I'm stating the obvious, but there you go.

Friday, April 10, 2009 at 23:43:15 mst
Comment ID: #7
Name: C Andrew
E-mail: ca4papen(at)mindspring.com

Well, he's very good at it. I don't think I could keep from laughing my er, buttocks, off. And I didn't go to the youtube version so I hadn't seen his favorite selections.

Saturday, April 11, 2009 at 22:40:18 mst
Comment ID: #8
Name: Tim

For those of you who were so overcome by pathos while watching the trailer for "C Me Dance" that you couldn't quite follow the plot, you can get a detailed synopsis here:

http://www.cmedancethemovie.com/

I especially like the "Marketing Note" at the bottom: "This movie is a chick flick with a manifested menacing devil. This will attract a wide demo of men and women." Clearly this guy is a marketing genius.

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